Make my day

(You, too, can produce a stickynote here.)

Wednesday, right on time:: Smack dab in the middle of the week. Not a bad bit of 24 hours, except for those of us born on hump day. You know that old piece of prose:: "Sunday's child is full of grace..." Well, if you spout the whole thing, apparently the only rotten time to be born is on a Wednesday, because the "child is full of woe." So woe is me.

That said, I'd like to share how I wasted, I mean productively helped the world, on this fine day.

I like to waste time on occasion as I rocket through cyberspace, as evidenced above. You, too, can while the hours away at The Generator Blog.

Happy -- but sober -- time:: Chris Gregoire, 61, the governor of Washington State, was not unhappy that she forgot her ID when she and some staffers went out to eat. She got carded. For more on a story that will thrill all female baby boomers, check the story here. There's a photo of her, and though she's a nice-looking woman, I'm pretty sure most barkeeps would know she was legal. I'm sure she didn't care that the guy didn't recognize from, oh, say TV, when she's discussing state matters.

It's about time:: Gizmodo has a guide to explain what in the heck we're supposed to do with cables. For those of us who get a wee bit frustrated wasting several hours with plugs, we thank the writers of the article. Oh, kudos to the photographer, too. Pictures are good for those of us who are thingamajig-deficient.

It's way past time:: A headline to perk up anyone's day: "House panel votes to cite Rove for contempt." Can we cite other Bush trolls for, oh, I don't know, giving us all an eight-year stomachache?

And one more time:: If you missed my blurb about Christian the lion (07.18.08), check this out. It's an update, complete with updated photos of the friends who made a whole lotta folks smile.

I'm outta time:: Apparently, I didn't adhere to my schedule today. Okay, I didn't really have a schedule. But I will. I'll halt my musings with another quote from the all-too-famous "unknown."

"Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you will find a hair stylist you like." ~Unknown

That's all she wrote. Today. Until later...

Just Another Manic Monday

The week begins. And I'm already ranting and raving. Perhaps a quote from, oh, a humorist, will cheer me up. So...

Quote O' The Day:: "Senator: Person who makes laws in Washington when not doing time." ~ Mark Twain

Hmm. Smart guy, that Twain. But he could have included a rollcall of Washington insiders, not just senators, including a certain Department of Justice employee.

Rant:#1:: All day media outlets have been jabbering about Valerie Goodling, the 35-year-old pinhead involved in the illegal -- and certainly inappropriate -- interviewing and hiring of Department of Justice prosecutors. Let's see, The Department of Justice is the law and order branch of our government. Law. And Order.

But you probably read about her, ahem, dubious rejections of prosecutors with outstanding records.

Let's check out these characters. One applicant was stamped REJECT because of his "wife's political affiliations." Another was tossed out because he "appeared to be a liberal Democrat." And of course, the woman "rumored to be a lesbian" had to be kicked off the list. The nerve of these people to think they could follow the law as carefully as Ms. Goodling.

But Valerie Goodling violated federal law. Gee, I'm confused. So she, a federal lawbreaker, decided -- unlawfully -- who can prosecute people like her in America.

And she's an art critic, too:: The very same Valerie Goodling was outed as the person behind "Curtaingate." Remember that "disgraceful" partially nude sculpture of Lady Justice in the Justice Department's Great Hall? Neveryoumind that the sculpture was commissioned in 1933 for $7,000 by well-known artist C. Paul Jennewein. (He did a whole bunch of cool Art Deco-style stuff, and in fact, created 57 sculpture-style elements in that same building.)

Either Herbert Hoover or Franklin Delano Roosevelt must have lost their moral compass to have allowed such filth to be installed. Thank goodness Ms. Goodling was around to ensure that taxpayers spent $7,000 for blue drapes to cover the abominable art.

In conclusion:: Goodling is 35 years old. How can someone that young be so delusional? Valerie, stop hiding behind The Fifth Amendment and go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Read books about why The United States of America was founded. Didn't they teach history when you attended Pat Robertson's university?

Rant#2:: The couple in British Columbia who were proud to announce the birth of their 18th child over the weekend. I saw this story in many different places, but nothing was mentioned about how Ma and Pa support this brood. We all know how easy it is to support 18 children in this day and age. Well, no, actually we don't. The proud pop made it clear that "...because we believe life comes from God and that's the reason we did not stop the life."

Oh, that's clear, all right. So does "we did not stop the life" mean they couldn't use birth control, which was invented by someone else "made by God?" These folks need to check out a site about overpopulation, like this one.

Memo to the new parents:: Over 6.5 billion people occupy Earth, and we're straining resources beyond anyone's imagination. Your insensitivity to the world around you is beyond belief, and is not "happy" news. So please, STOP BREEDING.

Rave:: It's time for me to go to YouTube and re-watch the Geico ad that features a "real person" and Mrs. Butterworth, "talking syrup bottle." Everytime I watch this spot, I laugh out loud. Don't miss the end -- it's priceless.

That's all she wrote. Today. Until later...

I Want To Believe

It's Friday. Just another 24 hours of time, spent wisely or foolishly. I'd like to think I've done something constructive today, that I'm seizing the day, but the jury's still out. Until midnight, at least.

He understood carpe diem:: Randy Pausch, professor, father, husband, friend, author and inspirational person died today at 47. What a wonderful gift he left by publishing his last lecture. Maybe it's just me on the river of Denial, but when you see someone like him on TV, you just "know" he'll beat the cancer. No such miracle happened in that area, but his approach to life is something to consider. Starting now.

The Who Knew? Department:: Half of the world's population has seen a 007 movie, according to the Did You Know site. I wonder what other things half of the world has seen or eaten or heard? I suppose this phenomena will not occur for the movie I'll see this weekend:: X-Files 2: I Want To Believe. I cringe at the critics' reviews. (This from someone who hasn't seen the movie yet.) But I have faith in two of my favorite TV characters, and two actors I enjoy.

True or not:: Pondering the wonders of all things X-File-y, MSNBC counts down six episode ideas that sparked real-life debates. I'm a prove-it-to-me person, but it's fun to speculate. Life continues to mystify the smartest of minds, of which I'm not.

It's a wonder:: The Library of Congress is a treasure trove of facts and fictions. So I checked out the sci/tech section, which holds an archive of everyday questions. For no particular reason, I clicked on the "why do boomerangs return" page. Um. The page said, "The boomerang page is temporarily unavailable. It is being revised. Check back soon for the completed page."

Is there something new in the world of boomerangs? Has something changed about their flight paths? I'll come back over and over and over until this issue is resolved.

Thwarted by that topic, I randomly moved my mouse to "Stone Skipping." It's not the most fascinating topic, but I did learn one thing: A group exists solely to study the subject. The National Stone Skipping Association, or NASSA, informed me the magic angle with a spinning stone and the water should be at about 20 degrees to get the most skips. And that's the truth.

Quote O' The Day:: "I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well." ~Diane Ackerman

Randy Pausch certainly understood that sentiment; perhaps we can all grab the thought before it drifts away.

And that's all she wrote. Today. Until later...

Buggin' Me

Quote O' The Day:: "There are two kinds of people -- those who finish what they start, and so on." ~ Robert Byrne

I'll try to plant enough tidbits to finish my daily ramblings. I'll try. But in another quote I acquired somewhere, W.C. Fields reportedly said, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again. There's no use being a damn fool about it."

Creepy:: And some people think I overreact when a spider drops off the ceiling onto my arm. Take a peek (if you dare) at MSNBC's cute little "animal" slide show.

Icky:: I love the coast. But I'll hold off on that trip to the watery splendors of France temporarily. Good grief. On July 15, rescue crews were called to the beaches of suburban Nice 500 times. For this.

Makes me uneasy:: I probably shouldn't even mention the site. But you'll find out about it, anyway. Now there's a place to check out if your neighbor's a criminal. Well, that's not the purpose of the Criminalsearches.com, but still. I stuck my neighbor's name in and discovered he had a couple of speeding tickets. Duh. Of course, I checked myself out. I'm clean. But someone with my exact name -- middle name and all -- in my state, did some nasty things. Makes one a wee bit uncomfortable.

Not earth-shattering, but odd:: I was looking for toothpaste the other day, and couldn't spot the flavor and brand I like. It suddenly occurred to me (one of those little cartoon bubbles could have popped over my head right there in the store) that I didn't used to spend so much thinking about toothpaste. So I randomly checked out Colgate's site, where I counted 82 different selections of items to keep your teeth clean. I have a hard enough time remembering to floss.

Bothersome to anyone over 35:: Actress Estelle Getty, as you probably know, passed away yesterday at 84. Funny, funny lady. What irks me is that it's rare to see programs anymore with actors over 25. Helloooo, advertisers -- do ya think it's time to reconsider that 18-49 demographic?

That's all she wrote. For now. Until later...

Friday. Fun. Facts. Foolishness.

Calling all readers:: No news of the iPhone here. Thank you for your attention of my inattention of this phenomenon.

Quote O' The Day:: "Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangeo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Edison." ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr., author of the thin, useful, and quite plaid "Life's Little Instruction Book."

As much as it irritates me, I often re-read that quote. Keeps my whining at bay for a few hours.

Nope. Not lyin' about this e-mail:: We all get forwarded e-mails. Bazillions of these true and false reports circulate the globe. Upon occasion, these items make me laugh. A few have provoked tears to well up in my normally dry eyes. (Disclaimer:: I'm not much of a boohoo-er, but I've been spotted with quivering lips when someone really belts "The Star-Spangled Banner" at sporting events. Really.)

Anyhoo, my sister sent me a YouTube video (type in "Christian The Lion," and one of the vids will pop up) of two guys who bought a lion cub at Harrod's in 1969, and the story that followed, which ended when that darn cat recognized them when they visited his new environment years later. It was touching, so of course I dabbed my eyes, despite my doubts that this was the real deal. So I went to Nancy Drew's favorite assistants at Snopes.com, and ... Kleenex, please ... it's a true tale. Check it out. It just reaffirms what we animal lovers know.

Disappearing actors:: Have you ever watched a movie you haven't seen forever, then scratch your head later and wonder, "What ever happened to so-and-so?" Well, I recently re-watched the much-underappreciated "The Trouble With Angels," starring Rosalind Russell, Hayley Mills and June Harding. It's a '60s "Sister Act," without the singing. The flick was even better than I remembered, partly because of Ida Lupino's direction. (Note:: Ida Lupino was a tough-cookie-style actress, who turned to directing a WHOLE lot of TV shows until she died. She, in fact, directed one of the scarier "Twilight Zone" episodes called "The Masks.")

I kept thinking about June Harding, who was so good as Hayley Mill's best friend in the movie. I checked out imdb.com, but there wasn't too much about June, except that she was in some old TV shows. I almost passed out when I realized that's she's nearly 70 -- who knew? Actors age just like the rest of us. I'd love to know what happened to her. Anyone out there know anything?

Everybody's working for the weekend:: Just wanted that song stuck in your head, since it's replaying in mine. Sorry to be a royal pain. Ah, a transition. Speaking of all things royal, pop over to Prince Charles' web page. Many interesting factoids. His job description states three duties::

• Undertake royal duties in support of The Queen.


• Work as a charitable entrepeneur.


• Promote and protect what is best about Britain.

Now you know.

That's all she wrote. Today. Until later...

Whoosh!

I said I'd blog. Well, I mentioned it a few years ago. Then on New Year's Eve, 2007, I scribbled a few resolutions in a notebook somewhere. The notebook disappeared, like socks in a dryer. But I remember that I'd swore to blog. And exercise. The rest I forgot.

Oops. It's mid-July. Looks like the exercise resolution probably won't fit in my schedule. Next year, maybe. But since I'm sitting at the computer, I might as well try the blog thing. The clock is ticking, after all (mine's digital, but still...) and I'd like to participate in this information race. I have opinions. I like to rant and rave. I like to share. So, time to agitate the gravel, and let the yakety-yak begin.

In The I'm Guilty As Charged Department:: I thought the Ramseys had something to do with JonBenet's death. I really did. Yes, The Big, Bad Media kept us updated on the tragedy, and the Ramseys just didn't act right. Or something like that. So 12 years later (and two years after Patsy died), we find out that some fancier DNA tests have cleared the family. Completely. I'm interested in just how disinterested we are in this revelation. I'm also ticked that I fell into Guantanamo Bay-style thinking -- you know, guilty before proven innocent. I suppose this is my apology for jumping to the wrong conclusion.

Barak Obama Used To Be Funny:: That's ha-ha funny, not weird funny. Well, that's the opinion of a British correspondent at the BBC, anyway. He makes a lot of good points in his article. That New Yorker cover sure stirred up a lot of people. I wonder if they read the article inside? It's a bit more insightful.

I Don't Drink Beer, But...:: I'm foaming at the mouth because Belgian brewer InBev SA bought American icon Anheuser-Busch. What will happen to those warm and fuzzy Christmas ads with the Clydesdales going to Grandma's house? InBev claims the company won't mess with the marketing. No changes, si vous plait?

American Icons, Continued:: When I was perusing the beer buzz, I was horrified to see just how many things aren't as American as baseball and apple pie. Take the Indiana Toll Road, otherwise known as part of the cross-continental Route 80. Indiana built the road in 1965, but leased it to a joint venture of Spanish and Australian companies in 2006. This not-American consortium spent $3.8 billion to procure a 75-year lease of the rad linking the Midwest to the East Coast. Yikes. There's a lot more not-American items to cry in your beer about. Check it out here.

Podunkville:: A lot of us don't live in Los Angeles or New York. We live in little burbs that need something to boast about. How do you promote your hometown? How about a slogan? Here's two for you to chew on today. Hereford, Texas (est. pop. 14,428), is the "Town Without A Toothache." (Turns out Hereford has a real low rate of tooth decay.) But Hastings, Nebraska (est. pop. 23,536) is the "Birthplace of Kool-Aid." Folks in both places can be proud. Hope they get along, since I have no proof whatsoever linking Kool-Aid to any kind of dental problems.

Rant And Rave Time; Set Phasers To Stun:: I'm getting weary of pinheads who amuse (only) themselves by writing nasty comments on the Internet. Didn't their mothers teach them that old "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" cliche? A couple of days ago, I surfed onto an article about Jerry Mathers (that would be "Beaver Cleaver" to Baby Boomers and people who watch TVLand). Anyhoo, he's 60, is still close to TV mom Barbara Billingsly (she's 92!), and generally enjoys life. Then I read the first few comments. Geez, people. Go play solitaire or something so you don't waste cyberspace with your unnecessary and/or rude comments.

On a similar note, it came to my attention that a product I actually own and actually look good in has been giggled at on a few sites. It's called Bang-go, and it's a baseball-style cap that protects your head from the sun, but doesn't leave you with that stupid bedhead look. Perhaps the naysayers have missed all the articles about the rise of skin cancer, especially among young women. Perhaps the boobs who "critiqued" Bang-go have never looked like an idiot in a baseball hat like me. Then again, maybe these people have never tried to developed, sweated through the patent process, produced and delivered a product of any kind. The critics wouldn't have time to do that, of course -- they're too busy sharing their constructive insights with the rest of us. Bang-go info is here. It's worth every penny. Hats off to the inventor.

Another day bites the dust. But wait! Here's my just-added blog item:: Quick Quotes. Today's is by the oft-quoted, and seldom-credited Steven Wright. He says, "My grandfather invented Cliff's Notes. It all started back in 1912... Well, to make a long story short..."

And that's all she wrote. Today. Until later...