Whoosh!

I said I'd blog. Well, I mentioned it a few years ago. Then on New Year's Eve, 2007, I scribbled a few resolutions in a notebook somewhere. The notebook disappeared, like socks in a dryer. But I remember that I'd swore to blog. And exercise. The rest I forgot.

Oops. It's mid-July. Looks like the exercise resolution probably won't fit in my schedule. Next year, maybe. But since I'm sitting at the computer, I might as well try the blog thing. The clock is ticking, after all (mine's digital, but still...) and I'd like to participate in this information race. I have opinions. I like to rant and rave. I like to share. So, time to agitate the gravel, and let the yakety-yak begin.

In The I'm Guilty As Charged Department:: I thought the Ramseys had something to do with JonBenet's death. I really did. Yes, The Big, Bad Media kept us updated on the tragedy, and the Ramseys just didn't act right. Or something like that. So 12 years later (and two years after Patsy died), we find out that some fancier DNA tests have cleared the family. Completely. I'm interested in just how disinterested we are in this revelation. I'm also ticked that I fell into Guantanamo Bay-style thinking -- you know, guilty before proven innocent. I suppose this is my apology for jumping to the wrong conclusion.

Barak Obama Used To Be Funny:: That's ha-ha funny, not weird funny. Well, that's the opinion of a British correspondent at the BBC, anyway. He makes a lot of good points in his article. That New Yorker cover sure stirred up a lot of people. I wonder if they read the article inside? It's a bit more insightful.

I Don't Drink Beer, But...:: I'm foaming at the mouth because Belgian brewer InBev SA bought American icon Anheuser-Busch. What will happen to those warm and fuzzy Christmas ads with the Clydesdales going to Grandma's house? InBev claims the company won't mess with the marketing. No changes, si vous plait?

American Icons, Continued:: When I was perusing the beer buzz, I was horrified to see just how many things aren't as American as baseball and apple pie. Take the Indiana Toll Road, otherwise known as part of the cross-continental Route 80. Indiana built the road in 1965, but leased it to a joint venture of Spanish and Australian companies in 2006. This not-American consortium spent $3.8 billion to procure a 75-year lease of the rad linking the Midwest to the East Coast. Yikes. There's a lot more not-American items to cry in your beer about. Check it out here.

Podunkville:: A lot of us don't live in Los Angeles or New York. We live in little burbs that need something to boast about. How do you promote your hometown? How about a slogan? Here's two for you to chew on today. Hereford, Texas (est. pop. 14,428), is the "Town Without A Toothache." (Turns out Hereford has a real low rate of tooth decay.) But Hastings, Nebraska (est. pop. 23,536) is the "Birthplace of Kool-Aid." Folks in both places can be proud. Hope they get along, since I have no proof whatsoever linking Kool-Aid to any kind of dental problems.

Rant And Rave Time; Set Phasers To Stun:: I'm getting weary of pinheads who amuse (only) themselves by writing nasty comments on the Internet. Didn't their mothers teach them that old "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" cliche? A couple of days ago, I surfed onto an article about Jerry Mathers (that would be "Beaver Cleaver" to Baby Boomers and people who watch TVLand). Anyhoo, he's 60, is still close to TV mom Barbara Billingsly (she's 92!), and generally enjoys life. Then I read the first few comments. Geez, people. Go play solitaire or something so you don't waste cyberspace with your unnecessary and/or rude comments.

On a similar note, it came to my attention that a product I actually own and actually look good in has been giggled at on a few sites. It's called Bang-go, and it's a baseball-style cap that protects your head from the sun, but doesn't leave you with that stupid bedhead look. Perhaps the naysayers have missed all the articles about the rise of skin cancer, especially among young women. Perhaps the boobs who "critiqued" Bang-go have never looked like an idiot in a baseball hat like me. Then again, maybe these people have never tried to developed, sweated through the patent process, produced and delivered a product of any kind. The critics wouldn't have time to do that, of course -- they're too busy sharing their constructive insights with the rest of us. Bang-go info is here. It's worth every penny. Hats off to the inventor.

Another day bites the dust. But wait! Here's my just-added blog item:: Quick Quotes. Today's is by the oft-quoted, and seldom-credited Steven Wright. He says, "My grandfather invented Cliff's Notes. It all started back in 1912... Well, to make a long story short..."

And that's all she wrote. Today. Until later...